By Rose Maina.
In 2021, radio hosts on the Homeboyz Radio morning show "The Lift Off" made controversial comments that were labeled as victim-shaming regarding a disturbing incident involving a young woman named Eunice Wangari Wakimbi.
Wangari, who was 20 years old at the time, had gone on a date with a man she met on Facebook. After she declined his sexual advances, the horrifying occurred - he threw her from the 12th floor of a building in Nairobi, leaving her severely injured and crippled. It was a brutal case of attempted femicide, which is violence against a woman based on her gender.
Instead of condemning this despicable act of violence, the radio hosts suggested Wangari may have been able to prevent the attack by playing "hard to get" or being less available with the man. They implied that her behavior led to the assault in some way.
This type of victim-blaming mindset is extremely problematic. A woman should never be faulted for violence committed against her, regardless of her actions. Saying no to sex does not justify assault or attempted murder. The misguided notion that buying someone drinks, lunch, dinner or gifts entitles you to sexual favors is part of the same flawed thinking that enables gender-based violence.
I recall during my youth when I went out with my girlfriends, and guys would offer to purchase our meals and beverages. However, when it was time to leave, they would insist that we owed them and should accompany them to their homes. Discussing this with my male friends, they bluntly affirmed that if they paid for our drinks or meals, they expected something in return, typically in the form of sexual favors.
When we accuse victims of bringing attacks on themselves through their choices or behavior, we let the real perpetrators off the hook. We reinforce the harmful attitudes and toxic masculinity that enable femicide and violence against women.
To create a safer society, we must reject hurtful victim-blaming narratives. We need to address the misogynistic mindsets that result in horrific attacks on women for simply existing as themselves and exercising bodily autonomy. Only by openly discussing and challenging these root societal causes can we prevent future tragic cases like Wangari's attempted femicide.
Comments